Inner Connection

Hello you! Welcome back to my blog! I missed out on some really good blogs because I was caught up with all the paparazzi going on college. For those of you who don't know, I like to obfuscate mere day to day happenings and routine words with a little bang! So to give you a hint, I was busy with placements!

The good news is I did get placed. The better news is, I was dreaming about the big guys like IBM and Google right from my school days and now I am in IBM - International Business Machines! Whether I get the joining date and other issues like that, I'll have to wait and watch. As for now, I have absolutely no idea of what I am going to be doing there! I'm scared and excited to bits!

Anyway, you know whats funny? Yeah something IS funny. I have been getting these vibes from some people. The vibes that tell me "I've done something wrong". I've been trying to figure out what that is. I haven't been able to crack this nut now from Jan 9th. The day I got placed. When someone's done something good, wouldn't you be happy for them? You needn't be happy about yourself but why in heaven's name is it so difficult to put on a good face and say "Hey! Good for you!". Instead, there's a deafening silence. I am the kind of person who sometimes thrives to be accepted in a group. That ain't happening here I suppose. People turn their backs to you when you achieve something. People come and confront you when you've made a mistake. And we talk about spreading goodwill and being social. It's all humbug to me. Oh pshaw, to each her own.

Here's another thought. Everyone knows how to carry himself/herself off. But there isn't such a thing called social etiquette is there? Pune oh Pune. When will I ever be at peace with you. You are such a beautiful, culturally forward city. Have we lost all semblance of forging cordial relations? I say forging, because, I believe, to break the ice and the tension, a word of warmth is needed just so that the other person doesn't feel like a misfit. Even if you don't mean it. It takes more courage to say something nice when you don't mean it.

Even with all this constant complaining, folks, I have somehow magically come to peace with myself. I will never accept the world for its outward rudeness and inappropriateness, but I will now always accept myself and learn to be my own best friend. For I have realized, if you are not happy with yourself, how will you ever let the other person know, that you indeed do mean it when you are happy for them? All those endless talks with Mom, when I was so much in need of a comforting voice, all those advices and monologues from her saying "you be good to everyone and don't expect anything back" are finally rubbing in. I only wish I could erase some previous mistakes and rewrite my life in Pune. But I am thankful for this experience because now I have something to write about, read, reminisce, and walk forward in an otherwise drab existence!

As usual, I would like to end by giving you guys some food for thought. Put yourself out of your comfort zone, take the plunge, make mistakes, crib, whine, yell. But in the end, you'll emerge a person with an inner connection to yourself, so strong, that there's no stopping you in anything!