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Friday, October 23, 2009

Part 2, Long Adue

Ok, I was talking about the fish out of water situation. But I feel better now. I believe that whatever I was feeling while I was writing Part 1 was because of my inflated ego. I couldn't believe people broke my trust and my expectations. I made myself believe that only reason I am in Pune is to make deep friends and all that jazz. I know now, that is not actually who I am. I am a loner, I need my space and I can get clingy at the same time. I can't figure myself out at times, and I expect my friends to do that. That is not fair, so I have decided to just be here to learn what I have to, from my experiences and my mistakes, and mend my ways. I am the first change that I expect to see in the world.
I hang onto some people. I loosen my grip over the others. That's the decision I've made. Ultimately I have to be at peace with myself. So to all you people out there who have trouble with their social lives, I tell you, its best to just be yourself. Don't give yourself a hard time if someone else is not nice to you. Reason it out once, and if there's no solid conclusion, don't bother finding one. Trust me, you're better off than that.

Cheerio!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Clueless in Pune!

I think I am just about to embark on one of those adventure novels that I so love to read myself. What I mean is, I am turning out to be my own adventure novel!

Folks, this is me, in my final year of engineering in Pune, a place far from where my roots are. I write this blog not to reminisce but to just write! I did believe in keeping diaries for a long time, but with the digital onslaught, who bothers much for pen and paper! I can proudly say I do, but its a very sporadic feeling. So I reverted to blogging.

I am a classic case of the agony aunt I keep referring to. I am jilted by very tiny things that don't make up my life. I believe truly in friendship and expectations. But to not have it when you've expected it is something more than just sad. That is my life in Pune. Many of my friends and my parents and brother, have all told me they can sense negativity in my writing. Well, my expression is such that I can only speak of what is happening in my life and not what I would like it to be!

This blog is to all the expectations I've had and not been realized and all the bonds I've shared and broken. Some of you reading it may be a part of it too. I write not to hurt, but to get it out of my system.

Pune began as a new culture, a new world for me. I belong to Kerala which when compared to Pune is like oil and water. We have a conservative and judgmental outlook to many daily affairs. When I landed in Pune, the people, the mindset, the opinions were all so variegated. It was a multicultural existence, these couple of years. I cannot say if I have gelled well with all of them, but I know I have tried and it will take more than four years to be perfect in that sense.

To me, where I think I may have erred is on the comparison between school and college part. That was not needed, and not heeded by any. I kept throwing my illusions of friendship at them and they just swinged it right back at me and I was too shocked to duck!


End of part I...

Watch out for part II, coming soon..